xrillo_parlante

я попросила ГС меня удочерить.
Она посмеялась.
А я ведь серьезно.

Ты вслух не читаешь.
                                 Я не пишу.
                                          И кто же из нас поэт?
Не пьешь.
                  Сигарет об себя не тушу.
Поэтов среди нас нет.

Я кем-то была для кого-то недавно:
Четыре страницы исписаны бисером;
Казалось так мало, казалось забавно, 
Что всё, что изменится к лучшему - мизерно.

Заляпаны тающим снегом надежды,
Так скользко, что лучше не биться в агонии;
Читать мне бы Ницше значительно реже
И напрочь забыть всё, что есть в космогонии;

Почтовые индексы будут потеряны,
Как только я завтра достигну поверхности,
Изрытой мечтами слепыми, как дрелями,
О чьей-то безмолвной и трепетной верности.

За вечностью тихо,
                         в молчании - громко,
Теряю себя для тебя понемногу,
Должно быть, в смятении,
                                   чаще - в слезах,
Я чувствую, слышу и вижу свой страх.

За вечностью - память,
                             в забвении- мысли
На сломанной ветке неловко повисли
Разбиты на части,
                            растерзаны в клочья:
уйду на рассвете - вернусь завтра ночью.

За вечностью - небо,
                            в забвении - море,
от лампочки битой темно в коридоре.
Забыто?
               Забыто.
Так что же случилось?
Зачем-то я плакала прежде и злилась,
Я - вечность без памяти, слезы без боли,
Едва ли заменят меня в этой роли.
За вечностью - тихо,
                             а в ней - безысходно.
Довольны?
                  Довольно
                                    с меня.
                                                Все свободны.

i got a blown up brain
i can't make out what's real
i'd give you anything
to know for sure what you feel

i got an aching heart
been turned inside out
which i'd like to discard
if i could cry out loud

i got a heap of words
your words i try to keep
you know sometimes it hurts
sometimes i have to weep
 

I move away from you
but i've never been this close
no need to start anew
Nor to invent the cause

Feels like i'm losing friend
A friend that i ain't never had

I can not stand your gaze
try to revert my eyes
life's made up of some lost days,
smoke, dust and naive lies
 

I've tried so hard
To build the phrase
To clarify
My hopeless case

No word of joy
Can I express
To make you happy
More or less

No sunny day
That brings me fun
I lose myself
It's almost done

Here many reels
Of film are spent
Fade out the last scene
In the end.

Tons of wasted paper
Thousands of butts  -
Noone tried to save her
Torn into the parts.

Couple of whiskey bottles
Filled with joy and pain,
Mornin rays o'sunlight
Make her die again.

Could you turn the lights on
Just to let her shine?
Burning all her life long
Coming down the line.

The summer is hot
And I don't like talking a lot
But I wish I knew you better
But I wish I knew you

And I wish I knew you good enough for love
Love don't  ever lie

To know each other
To leave each other
To know each other...
And everything that starts
Has an end
And everything that starts

And I wish I knew you good enough for love
Love don't  ever lie

The summer is hot
And I don't like talking a lot
Let's wait for autumn
To leave each other
Let's wait for autumn rain

The night is still And stars are bright
I think I'm gonna leave tonight
You breathe so close but cheek to cheek
I understand my heart is weak

I close my eyes and tell you so:
I wait a few minutes more and go
Where I'll discover fields of green
So bright in bloom I never seen

Your heart is cruel but eyes are kind
Don't say a word to change my mind.

***




I dream of flying to the rainbow in the skies above my head
From the first day till the last one all i get I try to spend
Spending time and spending people, words of sorrow, words of praise
When I think I'm doing wrong I get away and hide my face

When I met you I was out I was alone I was away
And I thought there would be noone, noone here to make me stay
Someone wasting time and people , words of sorrow, words of praise
And I knew I did all wrong and got away to hide my face.

Невозможно жить, думая, что, как только ты отвернешься, тебе поставят подножку.

***





What comes so close that hurts you more
And leaves you with your pain alone.
You breathe just like you did before,
but though your breath comes out of stone
So now you see how much it costs -
To act the way you think you should:
you've done it right, but all you'lost
And what you are makes you no good.

I watch your window when the sun
Turns deeper red and then fades out.
No brighter words when all is done
My heart aches hard and it beats loud.

***




Do you like to die?
Do you like to kill?
Oh, I know you don't
But I know you will.

Hands are tremblin hard
As I take my gun -
All is over now
You don't need to come.

***



Bye
Bye
My love
That is all
today i'm leavin
Bye-bye, my love, now you know

Bye
Bye
My love
now you know
today i'm leaving
why why why it hurts you so

I can stand no longer
Lies i have to live in
Have you ever felt the same?

No more wrong or right -
I've lost all i believed in
And there's noone here to blame

Bye
Bye
My love
That is all
today i'm leavin
Bye-bye, my love, now you know

Bye
Bye
My love
now you know
today i'm leaving
why why why it hurts me so...

I'm the one
You loved so much
I'm the one
To bring you down
I'm the one
To love you, baby

You're the one
Keeps me in touch
You're the one
To be around
You're the one
To love me, baby

And then I told you
To find someone better
And what you did - you did
(God knows what I told you)